saying good-bye July 19, 2007

Some good friends moved to Chicago a week ago today. When I hugged them good-bye the night before they stepped on the plane, my eyes were dry but my heart was heavy. It’s happened before. I make a friend, I take for granted the time we will have together. Life get’s busy, then all of a sudden it’s time to say good-bye. I put on a happy face and say, ‘I’ll call soon’, knowing that in my laziness I may not call, but will think about it 100 times.  My heart is still heavy.

Growing up, my grandparents lived on the same street for many years. My parents were both mostly raised in Portland. My close family and friends were all there too. I don’t think anyone thought that when I went to school in Seattle that I would actually stay there. I’m not sure I did either. But I fell in love with the city, and then fell in love with a man, and my feet became planted in Seattle.  I guess we have all been on both sides of the good-bye.  For some reason it seemed easier to be the one leaving than being left.  I’m not sure why though?

People will come and go in our life. And some friends, no matter how far apart you are, will always be close- which is what I dream of. Time may pass between gatherings, but when you meet again, it’s as if there was no time in between at all. A friend’s impact on my life is a marker for all time. My “chicago” friends have truly marked my life. They gave me work when I needed a job to support the ministry I was doing. They provided Corey and I with care and counsel through the early years of marriage. They allowed us to enter into their intimate family life and enjoy their beautiful children. We laughed together, cried together, and ate a lot of food together. They have modeled a marriage relationship that strives to be Godly, not expecting perfection from each other, but working harmoniously towards the goals, dreams, and challenges that God set before them.

I guess i should say thank you to those friends who have moved away, but left an imprint on my heart.  I’m forever grateful.  Hopefully I’ve left a good mark in your life as well.

Until we meet again.  All my love.

a boost of self-confidence July 12, 2007

I was sitting in a department store restroom yesterday feeding Ezra.  We were trying to beat the heat.  First of all, department store restrooms, that have cute little sitting rooms for mothers- are the BEST!  I drove all the way from Target to the Mall, just so I could feed Ez in a comfortable, cool space- crazy huh?

Anyway, lots of mothers are in these rooms, so I had a good number of chats.  One young mom and I shared our horror birthing experiences.  And we made such a great connection.  Despite have poor care and service from doctors, nurses, midwives we both loved our natural birth experience.  It went something like this, “my doctor showed up late, and I had major tearing”, “well, my midwife didn’t tell me I had pre-eclampsia and I would need a hospital until I was having contractions 1 minutes a part!” “when I went in to labor I was so excited!”, “me too!”.  “When I had pushed my baby out, I smiled and said whew, that felt good!” (okay, I didn’t say that, the other lady did).  But I definitely agreed with her that it was a pleasant experience to deliver.  And here is the thing that I haven’t really shared all that much.

I was/am so PROUD of myself for what I did.  I have had the pleasure of doing many things in my life, and I’ve done them to the best of my ability (some would say I’ve done them well).  But I don’t think I have received greater satisfaction about anything in life than delivering Ezra.  It wasn’t that I delivered him naturally- it was just that I did it.  If you ever need a boost of self-confidence, go have a baby!  Seriously (well, if you are married that is).  It is an experience like no other that if given the opportunity to bear children all women should be very proud of.  I can’t take all the credit.  Good support from my mom, my husband, and God were huge factors too.  ( a shout out to all the wonderful women in my life who can’t bear children- God knows the reason- be strong).  Taking care of Ezra everyday is a reminder of all these things.

I really enjoyed my story swap in the the department store sitting room.  It was a good reminder of how strong God made his children.  That with His strength we truly can do all things- even go through the pains of labor with a happy heart and a smile on our face!

ps. Ezra rolled over on one side on Sunday.  Corey and I were both there to witness it!  Does it count if Corey was kind of sitting on the edge of the bed making it go at an angle- just a little bit????

children’s ministry reflections July 1, 2007

This is an article that I wrote- which was never published, but will be the beginnings of my reflections on children’s ministry, now that I am staying at home and participating in the ministry in a new way. It’s been 4 months since I completed my time at Quest, and with the [wonderful] distraction of caring for my son, I haven’t had the time to fully process my thoughts about my work, of the last 4 years of my life.

“One summer, a mom came up to me after a few days of kids’ camp and said, ‘last night my daughter prayed a prayer that was so real and sincere, she spoke like Jesus was her best friend sitting right beside her’. Tears filled my eyes and my heart warmed when I thought, yes! Nurturing a child’s faith is so worth it…a connection was made. In my time as children’s pastor, through relationships with parents, teachers, volunteers, and kids who love God, my faith has been challenged and strengthened in ways that inspire me to action. Seeing the need to nurture faith in children has only ignited a deeper sense of purpose and calling to my faith. In a world where kids are bombarded daily by messages from media, the web, pop culture- to live a certain way, learning what’s ‘cool’, what’s ‘important’, what’s ‘valued’- what little time we have to teach love, compassion, faith, mercy and justice is crucial. In my own life I battle those same things daily to stay on track in my commitment to a faith-filled life.

One of the first things I learned about teaching children about faith was to keep it simple. A cornerstone of our kids’ ministry is to ‘love God and love each other’. As much as I teach it to the children week in and week out, I am reminded of that truth for me too. The many ways I see love modeled in kids’ ministry (by adults and children) have encouraged me in my faith and passion to simply love God and love others.

I have realized through serving as children’s pastor how much I have to learn about faith in Jesus Christ. I received a letter from a little girl that read, dear God- thank you for healing my egg allergies. Oh, to remember that God is in the details of our lives! And another day two children came to me to share that their great-grandfather had died. Before I could share any sympathy they reassured me that it was okay because their grandpa was in heaven. Oh, to have peace and joy in the face of death! When I am frantically running around to put last minute details together for kids camp or another event someone will remind me, ‘Katey, you don’t have to do it all on your own,’ and then they take time to stop and pray with me. Oh, if only I could always remember to put my trust in God alone rather than try to carry everything on my own shoulders!

The time I have spent learning, through experiences, studying, and researching in preparation to train ministry leaders and teach kids- my faith has deepened as my view of God’s kingdom has expanded. In my feeble attempts to empower people to teach kids the love of God and His creation, to share passion and vision- God has revealed much to me. I am learning about calling and purpose for all people- even kids- and how God works through all of us. As we explore scripture beginning with creation, Adam and Eve, seeing the faith of God’s people like Abraham, Moses, Esther, and young people like David, Samuel, and Miriam and see it all through the eyes of a child- I am moved once again because I see eager anticipation to learn who God is.

The hope and trust that I see children demonstrate on a regular basis brings me to my knees in humble recognition of God’s greatness. As I am challenged to share my faith with children and adults I realize the important of this calling, and I pray God would continue to expand my worldview, help me see His simple truths and remind me to have a teachable spirit. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1, tNIV). I desire to live a faith-filled life that demonstrates certainty and hope, passion and purpose, because I serve a great big God.