We’re still working on collecting the proper Nativity people and animals. Who really knows what was in that stable anyway?  Merry Christmas from our Nativity to yours!

It’s not too often that I find myself agenda-less. It’s not that there isn’t enough time in the day to get things done. Some would say that’s a state-of-being, I say it’s a state-of-mind.  I have time mastered.  I plan out my day, my week, my month.  I put out a to-do list, a task list, a goal list and start checking things off.  I balance my accomplishment hopes and dreams with realistic and practical goals to meet.  Some lists just get carried from one week to the next, okay one month to the next…actually if I’m being really honest, one SEASON to the next- I’m not perfect, okay?!  Even my down time is scheduled to a certain degree!

So what do I do with a half an hour of unplanned, unprepared for, and unexpected time?  Nothing.  Well, at first nothing.  And then in my desire to be productive I began thinking of things to do.  I didn’t have a book, or a computer, or a calendar with me.  I was sitting waiting for someone to arrive to a meeting.  All I had was my cell-phone, but no urgent calls to make.  And so I began to look at the numbers in my phone.  And thought of reasons to call people.  At first it was just to kill time, and then it became a joyful game. Who can I leave a message with next?  Who have I not talked to in a while?  Whose call did I forget to return?  Who can I say hello to?  My 30 minutes of “wasted time” actually turned into 30 minutes of surprisingly special time.  Time to think about the people in my life I care for and love.  Time to let someone know I was thinking of them.  Some people may be good at carving out time to go the extra mile in relationships, but that isn’t my strong suit.  No.  I need God to set up a divine appointment of emptiness in my jumbled mess of lists and schedules.

This is the first year that Corey and I can really enjoy introducing Christmas to Ezra.  We did it last year too, but an 18 month old can only appreciate so much of our favorite holiday.  There are so many things about Christmas to talk about.  From snow to family dinners to special cookies and wrapping presents.  From decorating the house, the tree, the mantle to building fires, taking the family picture and making the Christmas card.  And then the main event.  Baby Jesus, and the beautiful nativity.  And the other main event, as we embrace the culture and societal traditions- Santa.  We have decided to partake of the childhood fantasy and historically evident Saint Nicolas, or Santa Claus.  In our house he will not be worshipped, nor idolized.  Rather appreciated for his cheerful, joyful, jolly, ho-ho-ho-y, gift giving.  But in a media-centric culture, where you cannot shelter your children from the gimme-gottahaveit-wantitnoneedit messages, it is VERY tricky to balance a healthy view of Santa with a Holy view of Jesus.  We are still working on this.

One way to emphasize Christ is by reading the story of Jesus birth every day during Advent (particularly for our young ones, but a good way to meditate on the story as adults too!).  And while reading the story today to a two year old who is just beginning to process and think about what we tell him, rather than just repeat it, something dawned on me.

What is the significance of Jesus? Ezra was more curious about why King Herod had a mad face than the happy baby in the pile of hay!  So when I tried to explain that Herod was afraid Jesus would become king, but Jesus didn’t want to be king of earth, but king of our hearts and connect us with God…and that Herod was a mean king who told people what to do, but Jesus was a kind king who loves us- Ezra didn’t really care.

We can’t see the significance of Jesus (of God sending Jesus to earth) until we go back to the beginning where it all started. Now I know why it was so important for the Israelites to pass on their stories and laws and traditions to their children.  And why the shepherds that night after seeing Jesus went and told everyone the “good news!”  The story alone is just another story.  A girl got pregnant out of wedlock.  A couple went on a trip.  A child was born in horrible living conditions.  Some animals got the first peak at the baby.  But this ordinary story, in the context of God’s relationship with mankind from creation to Adam and Eve, to Abraham and Moses, to Joshua and King David all the way to sweet little Mary and brave little Joseph- is an extraordinary story!  The King that God promised the Israelites in the Old Testament, was the King that they waited for year after year, generation after generation.  The King that God promised would be their Savior a rescue them from oppression, was the King they hoped for and waited for, and prayed for.  The King that God promised would come to be atonement for their sins and restore them to a relationship with him, was the King they expected and the King whose arrival they anticipated.

Until I acknowledge my Creator, until I admit my sin- that I am not perfect and at times make horrible mistakes, until I accept my need for a Savior, until I anticipate the life-transformation that can happen through a restored relationship with my maker- I cannot know the true significance of Jesus.  And I would say the same for my two year old.  So I must, with care, teach my sons about the God who created them.  I must, with sincerity, tell them about the Fall and the sin that entered the world.  I must, with earnestness, share with them that God forgives us every time we make wrong choices and loves us always the same.  And I must, with joy, tell about God’s son Jesus who is the one that God sent so that I could be forever forgiven by God, and live with him forever!

So this is what Advent is all about.  Anticipating Christ= but we can’t skip ahead to Jesus. We must first say hello to our Father, God, and remember when and where our story began, and where we’ve come since then.

In lieu of a printed card this year, we went all out with a family photo shoot.  Ha- not the easiest task, but fun never the less!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  Have a blessed Advent Season and don’t forget to stop and anticipate the coming of Christ the King!

As promised, I thought I’d reflect on my life as an exerciser, or non-exerciser.  I have many people and things to blame for why I don’t make time to “stay physically active” (and let’s clear up right now that while caring for babies and toddlers is a physically exhausting job, it does not negate the need to get exercise- in fact I think it increases the need- muscle tone…you know where- no giggling or jumping after having  a baby!, endurance- you gotta push an extra heavy grocery cart on a shopping trip that takes 3x as long than if you did it alone!, upper body strength- lifting babies, carrying tantrumming toddlers to a quiet place, heaving a thousand books from the library that your son just couldn’t leave without, etc. etc.)

oh yes, back to whose fault this is: my parents for allowing me to be involved in so many other activities…my teachers for giving me too much homework…the boys in my class as school for thinking I was cute just the way I was…the mirror for making think, as long as I look fine I am fine…the scale for deceiving me into believing that a number on the screen indicates whether or not I need to exercise, that I need to be healthy…my mostly, my husband for telling me regularly he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful just the way I am.  Thank you darling but you’re not helping the situation!

Okay, hopefully you know me well enough to know that I’m just kidding.  After having two kids and medium to low active lifestyle (let’s be honest i don’t bike or hike or play sports), the reason that exercise is important to me is not so much about how my body looks- although that will be a perk someday when I do exercise more regularly- it’s more about how I feel.  Having strength, endurance, muscle tone all the things i mentioned early which I do seriously feel the lack of.  I hate being winded from a walk to the library and back.  I hate the fact that I prefer to hop in my car for a quick drive to run errands than a wonderful afternoon out with my boys in fresh air making stops on the way to the bank or post office.  I kills me that I prefer to play inside with the boys on a sunny day, than be out rolling around in the grass.

Finding time? Not easy but possible.  A couple months ago I started doing pilates in the morning.  I knew it was a good thing when about a week into the routine, E and I go downstairs to get J and he says, mommy are we gonna ‘get ready to do the roll-up’? Which is exactly what the DVD instructor says, “Let’s get ready to do the roll-up!” Oh that made my day.

2010 goals: keep attempting that exercise routine- because anything is better than nothing!

There is a reason I haven’t been blogging much lately.  I have lots of great reasons why my days get filled up, and overflowing, and my weeks disappear before I have time to do everything I want to do, but one of the first things to go when my plate gets full- is reflection.  Time to stop and think about who I am, what I’m doing, how well I’m taking care of my family and responsibilities, and self.  Time to pray, to thank God for caring for me, time to tell others I’m thankful for them.  For me, blogging is about being reflective.  That’s just the way I see it, but I don’t stop to reflect as often as I should.

So while my life has felt crazy these past 6-8 weeks, things have been stirring inside me, but I haven’t taken the time to get out.  So here is my reflection for today…an image that I have been holding on to for about a month which may be something you (the reader) have felt at times too.

When someone asks me how I am doing, I typically say, ‘I’m fine’, because in light of all that is going on in our world, and the difficulties that many people face around me, I really am okay!  I have so many blessings in my life and so much to be thankful for, and not much to complain about (though catch me in the right mood and I’ll have plenty to complain about).  Indeed my life could really be likened to a bouquet of roses.  Not those perfect magazine ones, but the home garden variety. Yes, I hold my bouquet of roses and smell them, and am grateful, thankful.  I examine each rose [a different part of my life] and have different feelings about different parts [just like I prefer white and red roses to pink ones].  As I clasp my bouquet, trying to keep it all together, I feel this pain in my hand.  this sharp pain.  But why should I feel pain? I’m holding these beautiful roses?  But the pain doesn’t go away, and my bouquet is getting wobbly, and starting to fall apart, so I hold tighter and the pain gets stronger.  Why oh why?

And then I remember, after a long while, that these roses have thorns.  As I try and hold these roses together and keep control of everything, those thorns are pressing in to my palms!  So similar to life right?  We want control so we hold on tightly, but in that desire to control there is something painful and burdensome which we cannot or should not bear alone.  And yes, letting go may mean that imperfections show, or somethings don’t go as we hope, but ultimately the roses are still roses, they are still there, they are still beautiful!  And the thorns.  Those don’t necessarily go away either!  They are still as prickly as ever, those tough life situations, circumstances, family struggles and disappointments.  But when we don’t hold as tightly and we see the entirety of what’s in front of us, the beauty is what gives us hope.  It’s painful, at times messy, but beautiful.  It’s worth it.  I wouldn’t trade my bouquet for anyone else’s right now.

So here are a few firsts from this past month:

Josiah ate chocolate cake and loved it.  He is our sugar king- he will never go back to being sugar free!

No picture for this one, but Josiah peed in a toy box…that had wood toys in it.  Yep- that was a first!

Trick-or-Treating, and getting it.  Ezra asks for a treat EVERYDAY

No picture for this one either- I asked my husband if I had done anything lately that showed him how much I loved him.  He said “yes”.  I said “when?”.  He said “a few days ago…”.  Yikes!  Makes me not want to ask the question for fear of not getting the answer I hope for.  But I guess I have a few things to work on this upcoming month

1. Showing my husband I love him everyday (in a way he understands)
2. Making sure my children don’t pee where they are not supposed to (a praise in this category is that Ezra is now potty trained completely- HOORAY!
3. Weening my family off of candy- myself included.  Not sure if 1 or 3 is a harder task.

Happy Fall!

Some will hate me for saying this, but…why not? I am not a fan of ghost and goblins, witches and evil, creepy, devil-ish things. I am certainly not a fan of the fact that it is a 5 billion dollar industry in the US, but I can jive with the idea that it’s a great day to have a party- to be in community- to do something fun, silly, creative, different than the every day grind- and enjoy.

The greatest reason I choose to celebrate Halloween is to provide an alternative activity for the people I care about than watching scary movies, talking about creepy things, and doing bad stuff.   What began as a pagan (Samhain) holiday in [current day] Ireland, evolved  as Christianity became the majority religion in that region.  It was most likely the Church’s attempt to redeem a pagan holiday by recognizing the saints and martyrs of the Christian faith, All Hallows (Nov. 1 ), therefore All Hallows Eve (Oct. 31) was re-born.  Even so, you can hardly call what the majority of americans who celebrate halloween, Christian, by much stretch of the imagination.  But if it’s gonna be there, regardless of what the church says or does, why not provide opportunities for positive fun, community and festivities?

If you come to Quest tomorrow night (www.seattlequest.org/trunk-or-treat-fall-festival), you’ll find everything from a silly monster lab to the good ol’ rubber duck pond, a costume contest for kids, hot cider and cookies to decorate and you may hear the ghostbusters theme song once or twice.   Let’s be honest, the community needs some good options of things to do and places to go.  We will be one of many churches offering up a safe alternative to some of the wild and wacky things that take place on Halloween, and I hope you will join us!

To my dear second child on your first birthday:

It was a year ago today that I hiked a mountain for you- anxiously waiting for you to join us in the world.  And the way you came was so amazing- I will never forget the range of emotions I felt that day.  Now you are one- a happy boy with a smile for just about anyone, you love to dance.  More specifically you love to shake your head, twist your belly, and wave your arms like a silly man.  It is the funniest thing.  You won’t stop to try out your wobbly little legs, because they just don’t get you to where you want to go faster than your zippy crawl.  You take after your mother in that way.  We’re always trying to get from point A to B the fastest way possible.  You love food, and dessert- just like me- no baby food any more for you!

I love it when you lay your head on my shoulder at bed time, the way you squeal and crawl to the door when your dad or I come home from work, how you bring a book to us and look at us with big eyes, how you climb on just about anything and are so proud of how you got there.  I love that you dance anytime you hear music, and you turn your head in response to all 20 of your nicknames.  I love that you want to hold our hands when we pray over a meal, and when you sit on the couch and look out the window to greet people or say goodbye.

This year has gone so fast, and I know that I will be writing you again on your second birthday before I know it.  I love you so much.  Happy First Birthday Josiah!

Love Mommy

So the question that my husband and I get asked most often, when people hear that corey is a photographer is, oh so you must have tons of photos of your boys/family right?!!! Ha!  Just because I am married to a FANTASTIC photographer, does not guarantee a certain quantity of photos.  But anytime he is behind a camera and a family is in front of him, he will take a great photo.  living proof: http://bit.ly/2BDTQU- also happens to be family of mine.  Cheers.  To family photos.  And the ones I may [or may not] get of my family this holiday season.